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Final Fantasy XIII - Hire Some Goddamn Writers
Having just sat through a ten minute plot exposition about twenty-five hours into Final Fantasy XIII, I have a variety of thoughts:

Seriously, guys?
You obviously spent tens of millions on the game, with millions going to graphics and probably a substantial sum going to music - how much did you spend on writing?
Does anyone actually go in for this shit?

I mean, I spent the entire length of the cutscene rolling my eyes, sighing, and hanging my head - and it wasn't even because the dialog was that bad, for a change. I don't know if there's a cultural divide, and this writing is well loved and taken seriously in Japan, or if something was lost in translation, or what, but man does the plot suck the ever-loving shit out of a dog's puckered asshole. It's convoluted, full of dumb and confusingly similar terms, and yet still the same trite shit they've trotted out about a dozen times prior to this.

The real shame of this is that Final Fantasy XII had the best writing to have ever graced the series, bar none, and had at least a different and interesting plot, even if it didn't grab me by the balls. I get the sense that FFXII wasn't that well loved, though - which makes me lose a bit of faith in people in general and Final Fantasy fans in specific, though I'm not sure why I ever had any to begin with. It makes me wonder if they didn't throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater, ditching the much, much improved writing along with everything else about that game in favor of... whatever FFXIII is.

I mean, I like the game, but holy fuck, just hire some good fucking writers. Rockstar consistently puts out solid writing in their flagship games. Bioware is generally pretty great. Black Isle and its descendants - mainly Obsidian - are clutch. Hell, on the other side of the ocean, Persona 4 was actually compelling and not a rehash of the One and Only Japanese RPG plot. Hire some of their people, maybe? Just do something, please, Square Enix. It is embarrassing when you have a game that has some of the best graphics I've ever seen, a similarly jaw-dropping interface, top notch sound, solid game mechanics, good voice acting (except for Vanille), and shit-fuckingly awful writing.

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